Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was confusing and full of hummus
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
