apparently the secret to your success is patron
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
