I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
