once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
