When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
