I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
