i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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