So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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