I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
