Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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