She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
