I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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