He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
