Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
