i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
