How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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