So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
