I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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