Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
