i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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