do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
