The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
