glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
