I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
