I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
