Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I can tuck mytits in my pants

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(248): View more from Michigan

Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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(561): View more from Florida

you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic

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(913): View more from Kansas

So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

(314): View more from Missouri

you had an obligation.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(954): View more from Florida

i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.

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(716): View more from New York

The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast

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(512): View more from Texas

Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants

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