Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
