if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Too much gin, very little bucket
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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