You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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