thus making me awesome and them whores
well you can't waste a boner
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
