it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
