I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
