so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Randomize
