I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
