I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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