When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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