Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
