Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
