just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
