She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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