I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
