before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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