This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need water and some morals
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
