She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Terrible idea I love it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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