Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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