my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
