There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Randomize
