Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
