The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm really busy with my period
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