Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
