Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
